The 3 Reasons they won’t commit to you, and you won’t commit to them
A situationship is a relationship that has no label to it… like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a friendship (tiring right?) Urban dictionary defines a situationship as a ‘’kinda like relationship but more of a situationship’’ (now that’s much more messed up!) Could you bare to think of the feeling of having been seeing someone for a couple of months or years only to be prompted to ask that person one day ‘’What are we?” because you genuinely have no idea. But I don’t want to talk about those kind of situationships, today I want to bring your focus on the other situationship you have, the other “’kinda like’’ relationship between you and your DREAM.
Now when two people find themselves in these sad 21st century prison camps called situationships these are some of the things most likely to occur.
- They avoid discussing it and don’t want people to know they are kinda seeing each other
- They have no tittle or label (it’s quite a situation)
- The most tragic of these is They are not seeing anyone else
Above is a reflection of a secret relationship between two people who are either scared of commitment, or have no common ground to build a relationship on except a few benefits they give each other. The very same happens between you and your dream because you are too scared to openly declare your dream and chase it. And just like people in situationships you do the following:
YOU AVOID DISCUSSING IT AND DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW
Share your dream! Talk about it. People don’t want to talk about their dreams because once they start speaking about them there is expectation from people that you are doing something about it. Expectation makes you feel responsible and the thought of having a responsibility is a nightmare for commitment probe. Hold yourself accountable to accomplishing your dream and share with people who might assist you in shaping and nurturing this great idea you have.
The law of attraction is the belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life. You need to attract the manifestation of your dreams into your life. Have innovative discussions about your future, with yourself, to your future! Guess what happens when you do? You start to slowly prioritize that dream and it eventually takes position of your must do list.
THERE IS NO TITLE OR LABEL
“Nothingness haunts being” ~ Jean-Paul Sartre. You’re not it unless it’s confirmed by yourself. Confirmation puts labels to situations. Unless he or she confirms you are dating, or unless you confirm it, it will remain a kinda like a relationship. You can’t sort of have a dream! How is it a passion when it is not defined, in what way can we tittle it your purpose if you have no desire to uncover it yourself?
I read an interesting NHS article based on a research conducted in 2014 called “’People with purpose in life ‘live longer, ‘reveals that “’People who died earlier scored lower on purpose in life and positive relations with others, meaning that greater purpose in life predicted a lower mortality risk (hazard ratio [HR] 0.85; 95% confidence interval [CI] 0.78 to 0.93). You need to pursue your purpose and be proud of it and when you’re proud of something you give it a name.
THERES NOTHING ELSE YOU WOULD RATHER DO
The reason I think this is the most tragic thing about being in a situationship is because you’re not seeing anyone else yet kind of seeing someone who is kind of not with you. As humans we are designed for companionships, we ourselves yearn for genuine and warm interactions. This is the reason why we build communities around ourselves, make friends, and engage in social activities and mostly want for ourselves a compatible significant other to go through life with. We joke about being lonely and having 9 cats all because we understand the need for partners. So tell me why it this way, that you’re not seeing anyone else but you would rather be in a situationship? I will tell you why… It’s simple, you and the rest of the people who subscribe to the hook up culture are afraid of commitment.
Commitment is a big and scary word for a lot of people nowadays. We don’t want to be committed, to us it seems commitment ties us down, limits our options and strip us of our freedom. To commit is to be dedicated to a cause, the relationship you have to your dream should reflect dedication.
Kenneth Blanchard says this about commitment ‘’There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in something, you do it only when it is convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses only results.’’
To achieve your dream, you have to be ready to commit, be known to be committed and stay committed. It’s unacceptable to kinda commit, UN-acceptable!! When you’re committed, you’re proud to be seen doing what you love, you live it, breath it and eventually you become it. It’s not a situation … Define it !!